The situation
I’ve been working twelve-hour days for months. I’m exhausted, I snap at my family, and even small tasks feel impossible. I keep telling myself I just need to push through until things calm down.
Your situation, reframed
AI interpretationYou are not weak for being exhausted; months of overwork would wear anyone down. The judgement worth examining is the belief that pushing through is the only option. Rest is not a reward you earn once the work is done; it is part of what lets you do good work at all.
The dichotomy of control
AI interpretationYours to act on
- Which tasks you drop, delegate or postpone this week
- Being honest with your manager about what the workload is doing to you
- Keeping a fixed end to the working day
- Asking for help, including from your GP if the exhaustion persists
Not yours
- How much work your organisation asks for
- Other people’s urgency and expectations
- How quickly your energy returns
The Stoics said
Verbatim from the source · full citationsSeneca, On Anger 3.9
… Pythagoras used to calm his troubled spirit by playing upon the lyre: and who does not know that trumpets and clarions are irritants, just as some airs are lullabies and soothe the mind? Green is good for wearied eyes, and some colours are grateful to weak sight, while the brightness of others is painful to it. In the same way cheerful pursuits soothe unhealthy minds. We must avoid law courts, pleadings, verdicts, and everything else that aggravates our fault, and we ought no less to avoid bodily weariness; for it exhausts all that is quiet and gentle in us, and rouses bitterness. …
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.24
… For this brings not only the tranquility which comes from doing well, but also that which comes from doing few things. For the greatest part of what we say and do being unnecessary, if a man takes this away, he will have more leisure and less uneasiness. Accordingly on every occasion a man should ask himself, Is this one of the unnecessary things? Now a man should take away not only unnecessary acts, but also, unnecessary thoughts, for thus superfluous acts will not follow after.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.7
Be not ashamed to be helped; for it is thy business to do thy duty like a soldier in the assault on a town. How then, if being lame thou canst not mount up on the battlements alone, but with the help of another it is possible?
What this means here
AI interpretationSeneca, On Anger 3.9
Seneca is writing for people prone to anger, and his observation explains the snapping you describe: weariness wears away the patience and gentleness you would normally bring home. He treats exhaustion, hunger and poor health as things to manage rather than push through, and suggests turning a strained mind towards gentler, pleasant things such as music and reading. Your short temper is a symptom of how depleted you are, not a verdict on who you are at home.
Translation note: Irascible means easily angered. The remarks about bile and digestion reflect the medicine of his time; the point that a tired body makes a short-tempered mind is what carries over.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.24
Marcus questions the advice to do as little as possible and arrives somewhere more useful: do what is necessary, and notice how much of what we say and do is not. When everything feels urgent, his question is a practical filter for your list, your inbox and your meetings. He applies it to thoughts as well, which matters when you lie awake rehearsing tomorrow’s work.
Translation note: The animal which is naturally social simply means a human being, made to live and work with others.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.7
Many people heading towards burnout believe that needing help is a failure. Marcus reminds himself of the opposite: if you are injured and cannot climb the wall alone, the job is still to get up the wall, and taking a hand is how it is done. Asking your manager to reprioritise, sharing work with colleagues or seeing a doctor is not weakness; it is doing your duty with the means available.
Translation note: Lame means injured or unable to walk properly; the battlements are the top of a city wall.
The three passages add up to a plan rather than a pep talk. Exhaustion is not a test of character to be pushed through: it wears down the very patience you need at work and at home. Much of what fills your days is less necessary than it feels. And the help you need is nothing to be ashamed of. Pushing through without changing anything usually leaves both the work and you in worse shape.
One action for today
AI interpretationWrite it down
Tonight, write down everything you are currently carrying and ask of each item whether it is one of the unnecessary things. Cross out or hand over at least three, then set a fixed finishing time for tomorrow and keep it. This week, be plain with your manager about what the workload is doing to you, and if the exhaustion, low mood or poor sleep has lasted for weeks, book an appointment with your GP.
A line to carry
“… Is this one of the unnecessary things?”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.24